I identify with football players because I know what it is like to spend your whole life training for a large, jewel-encrusted ring.' After I got hit by a car. I woke up in the hospital and saw a gorgeous doctor looking at me. She said “I’m sorry to inform you that you won’t be able to feel anything below the waist.” A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about. A man ask a pretty women: if there is a scale of a person's looking, on the left is ugly, and on the right is pretty, so what do you think of me? Father: “Sweetheart, how could you do this to your ma’ and me! We brought you up properly; took you to mass and raised you to live by the ways of the Lord. Jesus, Mary and Holy Saint Joseph! What in heaven’s name will the family think of you now? Or of us, for that matter?!”

The ad reads: "Looking for a man with 3 qualities: won't beat me up, won't run away from me, and is great in bed." upvotes Follow Unfollow 1 year ago (edited) Dots Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 I wouldn’t really say I’m a fan of “steampunk,” but it’s most definitely the healthiest way to cook punk. Insult jokes are funny mean jokes and mean insults which make fun of someone, the joke may make fun of someone's appearance but there are many other ways to offend someone and that is exactly what an insult joke does.The Russian finally says, “They have nothing to wear, no house to live in, only one apple to eat, and they keep being told that they’re in heaven. They’re obviously Russian.” * * * A couple of offensive (and very messed up) de@d baby jokes Come to the balcony,” she says. He follows her out to the balcony again, this time prepared for anything she might say. An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, 'What did you steal?' My partner told me “I’ll be home in 5-10 mins max.” And at that moment, I knew they were cheating on me.

Imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men, like, “Cool story, bro, now go chop some wood.” If women are bad at parallel parking, it's only because we've been constantly lied to about what 8 inches is. The pharmacist says, "Ma'am, not only can I not do that for you, I'm going to call the police and report you." Little Johnny asks his dad: "How much does it cost to get married, dad?"; his dad replies: " Well, son, I'm not too sure, you see, I am still paying for it."' Please add a link to this article. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers 🙂

12. A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”

Brian had asked Dave to help him out with cutting his rather large garden hedge after work, so Dave went straight over to Brian's